Dear Mr Joyce,
I travel more than most people and your airline is my preferred way to travel. I like that your bags go for free and you get a cup of tea - especially as I tend to purchase my flights well in advance.
However, it has come to my attention, on one of my regular domestic trips that you've changed your muzak when you get on the plane.
Normally, you get some lovely easy listening music. The odd bit of Angus and Julia Stone. Some Crowded House. Nothing offensive in the slightest.
However, on a recent trip I was mortified to discover that your airline had chosen to to play a most unsuitable cover for my trip. A cover of a song that really should never have been made. It's a travesty that somebody has allowed Delta Goodrem to perform a cover of The Darkness's "I Believe In A Thing Called Love".
Delta Goodrem sings The Darkness. I'd rather see Kim Kardashian play Lady Macbeth.
Okay, I have nothing against Delta Goodrem as a person, but I would happily live the rest of my life and be happy never having to hear her music again, so mundane, pedestrian and frankly dull that it is. But the fact that you play this dross on your planes before take off, makes me want to get up, get off the plane and sit on the wing until it's over.
This is a song which makes you want to go and get a crotch tattoo. Not jump out of an airplane.
Can you please take this version of the song off your airline playlist for the sanity of your paying customers.
With many thanks,
Pandora Behr, Frequent Flyer and woman of taste.
p.s. This is how the song should be played.
Not this crap: