Movie Review: Cats

Movie Number:2
Stars 2.5

Most of my friends can tell you the following about me. I'm not predisposed to musicals and I really don't like Andrew Lloyd Webber.

I saw Cats, in Adelaide, in about 1987. Back then I thought it was a stupid idea. I love TS Eliot, to make a stage play of a book of beloved, but rather strange poems about cats, seemed like a bad idea to me. And I was right. Okay the dancing and the music were fun, but that's where it all ended for me. Cats was relegated to the ranks of dud musicals, along with Les Miserables (best bit is when Javert  jumps off the bridge) Miss Saigon (nope, nope, nope) and Phantom of the Opera (like die already)

I really thought Cats would like a quick clean death - you know, get skittled by a car or eat rat poison. Something quick and relatively painless.

But no. It lingered. Like Alan Jones on the radio, it persisted, a beacon for the masses to love and other to shun.

Then they go make a film about it - some 30 odd years after it's initial stage release.

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING??!!

I have a penchant for bad films. I rather like The Room. I saw some value in Eyes Wide Shut. I still think Tree of Life is some of the most pretentious garbage I've ever seen.

Cats, is not in this league. Cats has left me scratching my head wondering a lot of things like.

• Why did Tom Hooper take this on? He did The Kings Speech and The Danish Girl. What made him do this? 
• What do they have on Dame Judy Dench to make her play Old Deuteronomy?
• Same goes for Ian McKellen and Idris Elba?
• How hard did Jennifer Hudson have  to try to get the level of gravitas she found, cat flu and all?
• Why did Rebel Wilson need to eat those cockroaches?
• I know James Corden can sing, but why does he have to sing in this?
• Do all of the cast like cats? Do they really know what cats are like? 
• Why did I pay for my ticket? (Should have used a freebie on this one).

Okay, Cats isn't great. 

I'm biased because I don't like the musical. But it is SILLY. 

Francesca Heyward, a prima ballerina, is lovely as Victoria, the protagonist of the show. Her voice is a bit thready, but her dancing is sublime. 

The singers in the cast were fine. Jason Derulo, James Corden, Jennifer Hudson, Laurie Davidson  and Robbie Fairchild were great as singers. But that's about it.

Rebel Wilson got to play Rebel Wilson being Jennyanydots. She seems to have one persona and she infuses it into all the roles she plays. This time she has the added joys of doing it all in a catsuit. What fun. (I have no issue with this. James Corden was in a fatted up cat suit too - lucky man)

The costumes were great. The animatronics which made the cats ears move were pretty good.

But then again, there was an over-reliance on CGI. It's done to the point of weird. I agree with most of what is said here. 

And that's about all the good I can say about Cats. It's true to the musical, and if you like the musical, you'll probably like this. 

I had a seat up the back with nobody around, so I ended up checking the current shitfuckery the Federal Government were up to on Twitter at regular intervals. I cared that much about what was going on in front of me. Cats vs Shitfuckery. The latter won out. 

To be really frank, I think I would have enjoyed this a lot more if I was stoned. It might have made more sense. I found this worked for shows like H.R. Puffenstuff and Bill and Ben the Flowerpot Men in my twenties - maybe it would work for this. 

I still think T.S. Eliot would be turning in his grave if he knew about the musical. 

Adding insult to injury after having 110 minutes of my life taken away, I got back to the car to my biennial parking ticket. Serve me right for going to see the silly show (and reading the cryptic signs in the car park incorrectly - thanks Booroondara Council). 

Today's song: