Lunch at a fusion Asian place today has left me a little wiped. I don't know what it is. Every second time I eat at this place, I end up spending the afternoon feeling like crap. I don't know what it is - some spice possibly - but it only happens at this place and not every time.
Regardless, I got to see some of the yucks of Melbourne. Thankfully I don't see them very often.
Hopping on the 109 tram this afternoon, I managed to get a seat. This is a good thing. Behind me, there was another empty seat. Then the follow conversation ensued.
Woman One: DON'T SIT DOWN!
Woman Two: (disgruntled) Why not?
Woman One: You really don't want to sit down.
Woman Two: Seriously..
Woman One: A homeless woman just pissed on that seat.
Woman Two: Oh.
Woman One: Can't you smell it. Can't you see it?
Woman Two: Oh. Hell, yeah. Thanks.
A few minutes later the smell permeated the tram. Joy.
A few minutes later, my friend Em taps me on the shoulder. Em used to live around the corner - I miss seeing her round. It turns out that Woman One was her. I thought she sounded familiar. (I think she had her lawyer voice on).
"You missed how I dealt with a homeless woman pissing on a tram seat."
We're meeting for lunch on Sunday. I'll hear about it then. Yuk.
Two hours later, I was down the gym, hoping the ride out the blah feeling. I spent some time on the roller trying to sort my ITB. Jay came in about ten minutes later.
We were warming up when Jay told me to turn around.
"You want to see this."
No I didn't.
Before me, a tall, muscular man in a pair of blue tights. Light blue tights. Which showed everything.
"You can't unsee that. Why did you make me turn and look?"
"Just sharing the pain."
Gentlemen, if you are going to wear tights to the gym, especially if they are not black, do the world a favour and chuck a pair of shorts over your junk.
There are some things the world doesn't need to witness. Women pissing on trams and over sized uglies are two of those things.