Friday, June 5, 2020

Head versus Heart

There are things I should be doing.

At this time, I really should be starting the critiques I have to have done for school tomorrow. School starts online at 9 am. I have four crits to do. Fun.

There are things I shouldn't be doing.

I shouldn't be thinking about getting some prawn dumplings from the local Vietnamese place even though the gastro has got my stomach still not really wanting food. Maybe I'll get some toast and honey in a bit, but I want prawn dumpings, just because they're prawn dumplings and they're a five minute walk away and prawn dumplings fix most things, especially when you've had another day dealing with a compliance officer from purgatory.

And there are things that I want to be doing.

And I really want to go on the #BlackLivesMatter / #BlakLivesMatter march which is happening tomorrow at Parliament House.

I'm not going to the march. Not tomorrow. I can't, with hand on heart, go out there, stand up and be counted with the crowd and this is because of the headway we've made with COVID-19. I don't want to be a part of buggering that up. I won't get on public transport at the moment, so being amongst thousands, even with our low transmission rates, for me, is too risky. A month on, maybe I'd go. If this was happening six months ago, I'd be there. But it's not and I won't take the risk for me or others.

Demonstrating is good. Peaceful protests are a part of our democracy. Peaceful demonstrations give you a visible voice, even if many say they don't get you anywhere.

I look at the marches I've been on in the last few years. I've pulled on my docs and taken to the street. Protesting Tony Abbott. Keeping Medicare publicly funded. Keeping abortions safe and legal. Environmental protections. Rallies against our draconian offshore detention policies. I've been there and I'll keep going to these demonstrations.

I'm not your normal member of rent-a-crowd. I'm a solvent, educated middle-aged white woman. I'm often told I'm nice. Friendly. Obedient. Compliant. That's me.

Well now I'm angry. I'm angry and I'm feeling helpless. This is a bad thing. And it took footage of an American man lying on the ground, a policeman's knee to his neck, the life draining out of his body over eight minutes and 39 seconds, while three out policemen stood around and did nothing.

The man's crime? Allegedly passing a counterfeit $20 note. He allegedly complied with the police. He allegedly wasn't a saint and had drugs in in system. But he complied. He went willingly. He wasn't causing problems. And he died because of it.

Like what the actual fuck!

Say his name. George Floyd.

I know we hear about this in America. We in Australia, we're as complicit in this as the Americans. Over 400 indiginous people have died in custody in the last 20 years. Despite royal commisions and reportings, nobody has been held to account for at least some of these deaths. As a nation, we're in it up to our eyeballs like the Yanks.

Seriously.

No system is perfect. Police aren't perfect. I'm not perfect.

But I'm acknowledging my white privilege.
I don't understand what it is to be black or indiginous, but I'm listening, and I want to hear, and I want to learn.
I want to be told when I say something that offends - so I can learn, not told off, but teach me what should be said. I want to be part of these conversations. 
I want to live in a world where none of this kind of evil occurs.
And as much as I deplore the destruction of property and I don't condone the looting, god, it places a light on how angry people are.
And I want to live in a word where idiots like Trump, Morrison, Dutton and Johnson are banished into the history books as repugnant evils, preferably after long prison terms - a stern warning to the world.
I want to live in a world where the police have consequences for unlawfully killing people. They have a terribly hard job at the best of times, but when the bad apples do this stuff, these closed ranks protections have to end .

It's hard to put all of this down on paper, especially being white, privileged and never having had to deal with this systemic injustice and vitriol.



And I want to take to the streets because this shit has to stop.

I won't march tomorrow.

But I won't stay silent any more.


Today's Song:


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