I am a writer.
Writing is what I do.
But it is hard. It's not easy or romantic or glamorous.
You sit on your arse a lot.
You stare at the screen a lot.
You berate yourself a lot.
You re-read everything your write and realise you're crap at what you do.
You realise that there are very few original ideas in the world.
And everything you see you will inevitably put through your writer's filter.
You will be guaranteed that when you submit something you'll find a typo in the manuscript five minutes laster.
It ruins reading for you as you read like a writer, finding holes in EVERYTHING.
You look at the world differently to most people..
You write stuff down all the time - it will rarely get used, but you write stuff down and people think you're strange.
And it's a lonely thing to do, as you have to sit on your own in front of a computer (or notepad) and just get on with it.
And it is more than likely to go nowhere and you won't make money from it (transferable skills aside - which can be handy)
But as we were quoted last night - writing is an act where you have to scratch an itch of something you don't understand. I think that was Peter Carey who said that. I get that. I get that too well.
And when things go right - and they very, very rarely go right, it is the most wonderful feeling in the world.
I got the Varuna Fellowship application in, on time.
I don't have a hope in hell. I wish I'd found out about it a fortnight ago - I would have done more.
But it is done.
And now I can sleep. Knowing that I am a writer. And it is hard.
Today's Song:
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